A wise friend suggested recently that when, over the years, a couple's relationship changes radically, perhaps one skillful way to think about the new situation is the mantra:

Things aren't the same any more. They never are. It's less helpful to compare now with then. The honeymoon's over. But before the honeymoon could begin, the courtship had to end. Each phase is good, but different from the one before. Relative ranking as better or worse isn't useful. Hmmmmm!

^z - 2013-06-20